Can Nancy Pelosi’s Federal Building Be Saved?

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Crime is so out of control at San Francisco’s Speaker Nancy Pelosi Federal Building that one GOP senator says that (like the former Speaker?) it ought to be “shut down until it is no longer a threat to public safety.”

The jokes almost write themselves. Fortunately, I’m here to assist you.

Iowa Senator Joni Ernst stated Wednesday “With at the least five other facilities in the San Francisco region where taxpayers and employees of the government could interact without fear for their lives, my call is for the offices and staff within the Speaker Pelosi federal building to be relocated.”

The Washington Times reported that the Pelosi Building had become “something from a postapocalyptic nightmare movie” with frequent muggings, gunfire, and over 150 drug overdoses as well as 33 deaths in the area surrounding the building during the first half of this year.

Has anyone tried to remove Pelosi’s portrait?

SFGate reported earlier this month that the building is “heavily guarded – yet appears empty.” Two months before, federal employees were “told to work as much from home as possible” despite being ordered to return to their offices in other parts of the country.

More:

SFGATE observed the Federal Protective Service, the police arm of Homeland Security, stationed at the building on five occasions in the last two weeks. SFGATE observed five officers on the sidewalk outside the building. Six federal police cruisers were parked nearby.

All this for a building that has few employees. In a September San Francisco Standard article, the Feds reported that they had removed the usual vagrants in the Pelosi Building to ensure the safety and security of federal officials who were visiting San Francisco for discussions about the safety of their employees. If this isn’t a perfect summary of all that’s wrong with Washington then I will forgo my lunchtime martini.

The AIA San Francisco Chapter awarded the building a Design Award for its environmentally friendly design and open spaces. Some of the open space has been fenced in because of drug dealers. The environmentally friendly design also forces workers to “open windows to escape the heat, but this not only causes papers to fly, it can make maintaining a constant temperature near impossible for everyone.”

The offices of managers, on the other hand, enjoy both A/C and heat because, well, they are managers.

The Speaker Nancy Pelosi federal building is a nice place to work, despite the vagrants and drug dealers. It’s also free of violence risk, double standards, and comically inept climate control.

The building was finished in 2007 but it wasn’t called the Speaker Nancy Pelosi Federal Building. That just sounds good, doesn’t it? The building was not named the Speaker Nancy Pelosi Federal Building until 2022. This is when Speaker Pelosi’s two-year tenure as speaker was coming to an end. The renaming of the city was inserted into an omnibus bill to spend money at the end of the session. Sincerely, no one knows how it got there.

Local sources described Nancy as an “asymmetrical, metal-sheathed building that appears considerably taller than the 18-story official structure” that “polarized architecture critics with some being dazzled by novelty, and others being underwhelmed and its perceived ugliness.”

Could Pelosi possibly have chosen a better structure to put her name on than the one she chose? Only Paul Pelosi knows for sure.